Matt Northam

So, a while ago, before people like Benni Benassi and Eric Prydz started relying on tits, sweat and slow motion tits and sweat in their promotional material, dance music videos used to be brilliant. You know, back when artists appeared in their own videos, and not just as a seedy looking fat man in the midst of a club of semi-naked girls. Or if they weren’t in the video, it was because the video consisted of groundbreaking 3D animation which more than made up for it. Back when the dangers of strobe lighting effects triggering seizures were irrelevant. When anything was possible. I miss those days.

So in a loose attempt to revitalise the dance music video genre and drag it out of the slump that they’re currently in, I present my top 7 dance music videos from the 90’s. A selection of the best of the best, each one has carefully been considered against the following criteria:

Got any salmon?
How well does it embody the ethos of dance music? Is there a clear use of salmon in the video? (high). Or no dancing at all? (low).

de l’Épée factor
Were the production crew clearly deaf? (high). Or does the video actually have any relevance to the song? (low). (Named for Charles-Michel de l’Épée)

Dworkin-ism
Distinct lack of tits, arse, or any other excessive sexy time allusions in order to try to promote the music. (high). Or, does it look like a promo for ‘nuts’ magazine? (low).

You’re not alone..
Its influence and clones etc.. Also known as the ‘dolly’ element. Because of dolly the sheep. (Two birds, one stone. Genius.) More influence = more sheep.

Sound basis for evaluation, I think you’ll agree. There’s also the factor of whether I like the song or not, but I’m trying to be objective. Honest.

Anyway, Let’s begin by pushing the limits at number 7...